One of the best resources I've found on my grief journey are blogs written by (mostly) women who have suffered profound losses. There is something universal about deep grief. In the midst of it, though, you think you are not only all alone in your feelings, but that you've completely lost your mind and are going crazy! I stumbled across this blog early on. Samantha lost her husband to an untimely death at any early age. He left behind two children. She has written a book called Crazy Courage where she details all that is necessary to travel along the grief journey and to adjust to the new normal. I haven't read the book, but I really like her concept of "crazy courage". "Crazy courage" as I believe she would define it is doing what you feel is right, what you have to do when your mind wants to tell you otherwise. It is finding the passion in life when life seems meaningless. It is brushing off the dirt after the fall and overcoming the fear that occupies your rational mind. It is adding enthusiasm to the mission you have to complete, no matter how small.
I have certainly been able to apply Light-Gallagher's concept to my grief journey, but I think I can take it one step further and apply it to my LSAT experience. I wrote here about how I am only going to take one more standardized test in my life and I was hoping to get the accommodations I need to be successful. Last week, I received the news that my request for accommodations had been denied....TWICE! This could be awful news considering that I am only able to get through a little over half the test without the extra time I need. And, a Scantron sheet is a recipe for disaster for me. But, guess who has to use a Scantron sheet on Saturday? This girl! Since receiving the denial news, I have implemented some crazy courage.
It's been a dream of mine to go to law school and I've always pushed it away. I am now ready to chase after this dream and am not going to let some meanies at LSAC get in my way! I now have a reason for going to law school and am not just haphazardly chasing after some "quarter life crisis". I have prepared for this test and am ready to take it. Obstacles are not a new thing in my life. I navigate obstacles (mostly small) every single day. This is just one more to overcome. One more hurdle in the steeplechase that is my life!
Some people have wholeheartedly supported me on this journey to law school. Some people have told me I am flat out crazy! Crazy, I might be.
Please say a prayer for me.