Thursday, May 26, 2011

The "D Word" Dilemma

I remember when I first started college. My first year did not live up to the hype of "the best years of your life". The first time I stepped on UR's campus as a prospective student, I immediately felt at home and knew I wanted to spend the next four years of my life there. I applied early decision because I was so certain it was the right college for me. But, the first year was rough. It did not feel like home. I longed for home. I wanted to be known. Leaving behind a place where I was comfortable and popular was awkward.

Time and time again, I would call up one of my close friends who lived down there. It was refreshing to talk to her because she knew me. "Where are you from?" "What do you like to do?" "Why do you walk with canes?" were not questions she asked me. There was no need to ask these questions because she already knew the answers. It was exhausting to answer those same questions over and over for what seemed like 3000 times!

Now, I find myself feeling that way again. Despite my discouraging past experiences with online dating, I think it's time to give it another shot! My life is meant to be shared and I can't wait to find my teammate! I like to refer to my future husband as my "teammate for life".

Embarking on the online dating adventure is reminiscent of my freshman year of college. The purpose of the online profile is to describe yourself to people who do not know you. Describing myself seems like a simple yet complex request. I cleave to the longing to be known once again. I've been down the road of dating friends (the known) and so far it's turned out to be a dead end. So, here I am, trying another route.

I need your help.

Do I mention my disability in my profile?

To be honest, I am torn. That's why I am asking you. I don't see myself with a disability so I would not include it. However, it is blatantly obvious to the naked eye. Here are some suggestions I've been given:

1. Do not include it. Let him get to know me. If he is still turned off by my disability after I explain it to him, he is not the one for me.  -- I like this approach, but I don't want to come across like the masked man on "The Bachelorette". I wear my heart on my sleeve and don't have anything to hide. I don't want to give the appearance that I do.

2. Don't include anything about my disability in my profile, but add a photo of me with my canes.

3. Briefly describe it.

4. Briefly describe it and include photos that show I can live a normal life...skiing, driving, traveling.

What do you think? Any other suggestions? Which approach is best?

Thanks for helping me out. I sincerely value your opinion.


  1. I would say a mix of 2 and 4? Not mentioning it, but including pictures of "normal life"?

  2. Hmmm I hadn't thought of that! Thanks, Virginia!


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