Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Stop going to the buffet

I have never really been a big fan of buffets. A buffet can be good because it gives you the opportunity to try a variety of foods. Most of the time, however, I overflow my plate with foods I think I might like or I take too much food and mindlessly move my fork to my mouth without ever really savoring any of the flavors. I practically roll out of the restaurant disappointed because nothing was really worth the calories.

As a single gal, sometimes I feel bombarded with dating options or advice. There are the friends who try to play matchmaker, but if asked why the two of us would make a good match the response is "You're both single." Fail. The blind date that spends all of dinner counting the number of my sorority sisters he has dated. So, are you trying to make your way through my entire chapter? What a stud you are! The online dating sites - I've tried a bunch. One match: a blind pilot. Above and beyond racking my brain as to how someone can be blind and a pilot, I decide to close this match. If ever his walking aid and my canes accidentally got tangled, a collision could result. That wouldn't be pretty! How about the 27 year old Metro train operator with a 12 year old son...Yeah, you do the math. Insta-family? No thanks. Or, the guy who wanted to get married after the fourth date. I don't accept a marriage proposal if I don't even know your birthday or your middle name! He and I parted ways. (He was engaged 2 months later to another woman.) I am not really a bar person, but you gotta give everything a shot once! I've forced myself to go to social events because "You never know who you'll meet" resounds in my head like clanging cymbals!

All of these are viable dating options and one of these methods has worked for a number of people. As I get older and try all of these options over and over, I've come to learn I come up empty when I try to meet as many people as I can and don't take time to focus my efforts - to think about what is really important to me in a lasting relationship. I'm just "filling my plate" at the buffet.

The truth is I want to be married to my best friend - a person who not only enjoys doing everything (and nothing) with me but also shares my values and beliefs. A family man who fits in with my family and welcomes me into his as if I had always been there. A love that is not based on that "butterfly feeling", but one that is deeply rooted in commitment. One where we can be ourselves, trust, and tell each other everything. I know what I am looking for and I pray everyday that God will reveal my husband to me. I may already know him or he may be somewhere waiting and praying for me too.

My advice to myself and my single friends (guys and gals) is this: It's time to be purposeful. It's time to stop going to the buffet!

1 comment:

  1. Mmm, buffets. (Just kidding!) Love the "Um, you're both single?" :)


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