A Different View of the Christmas Tree

Until this year, I’ve never given much thought to the symbolism of the Christmas tree. I just  assumed that it was a custom that started in Germany and caught on across the Atlantic Ocean. It’s bright and beautiful and the Christmas trees are a big deal in my parents’ house --- Such a big deal that each year decorating the trees causes angst and makes me wonder if my parents are going to get divorced at the start of the season. Mom likes thousands of lights and tons of ornaments. Dad doesn’t “fluff” correctly and breaks at least one ornament each year. The advent of the already lit Christmas tree ushered in a little less stress, but the amount of lights that come on the tree is still not enough for Mom. There is nothing to prevent Dad from breaking an ornament so angst still exists. This year I was able to stay in my condo during the time all of the decorating went on at 302 Cambridge. This year I had my own Christmas tree. This year I was removed from the angst and pushed towards reflection.  

One of my favorite things to do this time of year is to sit by the Christmas tree. It is the centerpiece of the room. It’s tall and strong and green – the color of new life. It is bright and beautiful, peaceful and joyous. It radiates enough light to fill an otherwise dark room. Occasionally, I catch myself lost in the magic of the tree. I just sit there and stare in awe of its wonder.

A few carols I deem as favorites; a few I’d be happy to skip. The quiet and sort of repetitive tune of “O Christmas Tree” prompted me to skip it in years past. Its melody rang through the speakers the other day and I paused to listen carefully. For the first time, I was struck by the lyrics:

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


Thy leaves are so unchanging;


O Christmas Tree! 

O Christmas Tree!


Thy leaves are so unchanging;


Not only green when summer's here,


But also when 'tis cold and drear.


O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


Thy leaves are so unchanging!



O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


Much pleasure thou can'st give me;


O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


Much pleasure thou can'st give me;


How often has the Christmas tree


Afforded me the greatest glee!


O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


Much pleasure thou can'st give me.



O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


Thy candles shine so brightly!


O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


Thy candles shine so brightly!


From base to summit, gay and bright,


There's only splendor for the sight.


O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


Thy candles shine so brightly!



O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


How richly God has decked thee!


 O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


How richly God has decked thee!


Thou bidst us true and faithful be,


And trust in God unchangingly

.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!


How richly God has decked thee! !"

“That’s Jesus!”, I loudly proclaimed (alone in my apartment). He is unchanging. He is the same in the good times and the bad. He is love. He is joy. He is the light in the darkness.

The recent tragedies at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT and in my own life make this image all the more powerful. Both tragedies are horrible, unspeakable even. My mom was an elementary school teacher. I can't imagine if that had happened at her school. I became a victim of gun violence when I was nine years old and my aunt was killed in a random drive by shooting. I know the heartbreak of losing someone you love so deeply, so suddenly. (Thankfully, I do not know what it is like to lose a child and hope I am forever spared from that pain). I grieve for my own loss and for the horrible loss in Connecticut. I mourn with the rest of the nation.  I have no idea why God did not stop these tragedies from happening. I ask that question on a daily basis. But, what I do know is that God is love and hope and strength and peace. He does not change. He is the light in the darkness.

On more than one occasion over the course of Friday and the days that have followed, I’ve heard “How sad that this happened so close to Christmas!” I agree. The children, families and town are supposed to be experiencing the joy and the magic of the season.  Evil crept in and stole that away from them. But, God overcomes evil. And, reminders of Christ (Christmas trees) are present within our homes and spread throughout the land. God's heart breaks, too, but He has welcomed those no longer here on earth. It may be hard to see, but God is with us in deep grief.

Even in the darkness, He shines the brightest light.

I will turn the darkness into light before them
    and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
    I will not forsake them.

Isaiah 42:16

I googled whether the Christmas tree was intended to be a symbol of Christ and there was a bunch of conflicting information. Since having my own realization about this, I will forever think of Christ when I look at the tree regardless of whether that was its intended meaning.

The Dissonance of the Season

Last night, a couple college friends and I were catching up on the phone. One was Mike’s college roommate and the other was a mutual friend of ours. One had been particularly close to Mike, and the other, while not as close, enjoyed his company and has been affected by his death.  We’ve all been pretty good about keeping up with each other in the wake of this tragedy. Well, I probably should say they’ve been excellent at checking in on me and I reciprocate when I can.

Both conversations covered a number of topics - jobs, future educational endeavors, plans for a ski trip, our annual reunion, dog therapy school, and eventually, we got around to the topic of Christmas. Conversations about Christmas consumed the majority of minutes on the phone – decorating the tree, baking delicious and unique cookies, where the actual holiday will be spent. After that banter, we arrived at what, perhaps, used to be the pivotal question: “What do you want for Christmas?” We all independently answered by saying, “I don’t really know. I didn’t really ask for anything this year.”

When my mom asked me to make my list I responded with ambivalence. This year, the material gifts don’t matter.  On one hand, my college friends and I are blessed with great jobs and don’t really need anything. On the other hand, we’ve been hit with two tragedies in the last eight months – someone close to us took his own life and another friend lost her 11 month old son in a tragic accident. Many tears have been shed and our grief has bonded us even more than before. We’ve also rejoiced over an engagement, a marriage, a book publishing, and two itsy bitsy Spiders who will make their world debuts next year! Together, this year, we have known deep sorrow and experienced great joy!

Our excitement for this season has been tainted with sadness. A dissonance exists as joy clangs up against grief.  Somehow I thought this was contained within our bonds of friendship and was dictated by our circumstances until I received an email from a friend this afternoon.  In the email she writes,

"… I'm struck by the discord between the minor key of O Come O Come Emmanuel and the jolly tunes playing as I type this in my local coffee shop. In the past, I've resisted this dissonance, but this year it somehow seems appropriate to me. Advent is all about what theologians call the "already and the not yet." Jesus has already come, and Jesus has not yet come again. The same is true in my life--I can turn to the past and tell story after story of the ways in which Jesus has come in, but I look to the future with hope that I will know more and more of his gracious, patient, and truthful presence. So there is the joy of what has already happened, and the deep longing for what someday will be." 

--  Amy Julia Becker

This struck a chord with me and prompted me to write this post. I wouldn’t say that there is joy in the deaths we have experienced this year. Rather, there is joy in the time that we got to spend with those we’ve lost and in the memories that we keep in our hearts. There is joy as our bonds of friendship are strengthened. There is joy in anticipating the arrivals of babies and impending nuptials. There is hope and peace in the prayers that we pray for one another.

Speaking for myself (and hopefully my friends, too), I can say amidst the sadness, there is hope. At the end of 2011, I looked to 2012 with such anticipation and happiness. It turns out this year has been the worst year of my life! Thankfully, Jesus has gone before me, has met me in these times and is preparing me for the hope and joy of the future – “the already and the not yet”.

Christmas feels different this year. I thought it was solely because someone so dear is missing. That’s not entirely the case. This year, our focus has been taken away from the number of presents under the tree. This year, I/we are experiencing the true meaning of Christmas.

A Little Christmas Cheer

In honor of my moving back into my condo and my determination to truly celebrate Christmas despite this difficult year, I decided to have a party. It ended up being a more intimate gathering than I anticipated, but it was perfect! I loved being able to spend time with my friends and not feel rushed to try to get around to everyone. I also loved that the food options I chose meant that I could sit on the couch and enjoy the company instead of standing in the kitchen monitoring the oven or the stove. This was purposeful. I'll let the photos (from my phone) do most of the "talking".

 The bar: wine, beer, soda, water, virgin cranberry cocktail and Christmas tea (not pictured)

Good eats: fruit, veggies with spinach and artichoke dip, shrimp, cheese ball and crackers, turkey sandwiches, meatballs, sausage balls, and cookie dough dip with pretzels. I actually made the meatballs, sausage balls and cookie dough dip. Yes, I actually cooked something and it tasted good. The world really might end in a few days! I forgot to take a photo of the cupcakes and cookies. I made the cupcakes too, but they were a bit wimpy! They tasted good, but didn't look that pretty. Next time.

Even better than the food was the company. One fail of the night was that I didn't take pictures of all of the people there, but here are a few. Not pictured are the Caseys and Jessica. I have the best friends in the world. I always knew they were amazing, but the love and support they have given me this past year is indescribable.

 Love those Landers

 Blessed to be able to call people who started out as "Mike's friends" my own now.

 This isn't the best photo, but George makes it adorable. So much fun to see the Guernseys!

 And, finally, my very own Christmas tree! This is my "first" one. My parents bought me a tree two years in a row previously, but then took both of them to use in their house. This one is my very own. I had so much fun decorating it and look forward to increasing my ornament collection over the years.

This little party was a great way to kick off the Christmas season! Thanks to everyone who came to share the love and the joy of the season with me. The only negative: I have a whole bowl of cookie dough dip in my fridge and I live alone. T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

Christmas List 2011

Mom handed me a pad of Post-It notes and a pen and asked me to make my Christmas list. In an attempt to get her into the 21st century, I thought I'd post it here too:

iPod nano

My iPod died a tragic death in a rain storm in NYC in September. I have my iPhone that I currently listen to music on, but I like to talk on the phone and listen to music at the same time. The new nano is all jazzed up! In addition to housing my music library, it has FM radio, and the capability for me to track my workouts. Will I really track my workouts? Probably not, but I am itching to get back to the gym! This comes in a number of colors, but I'm thinking of going all girly and asking for a hot pink one!

Tall brown boots

These beauties in dark brown are resting in an unopened box in my room. If they fit, they will go under the tree and wait until December 25th to be worn. I hope they work because I am already planning all of the outfits that would look stunning with these on my "brand new" feet (Well, the right foot is "new").


Jammies

 


 It's a tradition in my family to get new pajamas for Christmas. We all get a few pairs each year. Time to get rid of the last year's pjs that are worn out and raggedy and fill the drawer with the new sleepwear.

Hightower Jersey

 I'm not normally a jersey girl. Football is one of my favorite sports, but I normally like to sport my team spirit sans the over-sized shirt with someone else's name on my back. This time I can't resist the jersey. Tim Hightower grew up in my hometown, went to my rival high school, and played football for the Richmond Spiders. Unfortunately, I missed him on campus by a year so I can't really say I know him, but he's now playing for the hometown team! I've just got to show my support and pride for Timmy and the Redskins -- and later on, I'm hoping my future husband won't mind if this gets a prominent place in his man room. 

 I would love this....

but I doubt I am getting it. That's Art Monk. He's my favorite Redskin of all time. Classy dude that can tear up that turf!

And if I am really dreaming....

He'd be nice too!

But, I'd better put all of this on a post-it or there won't be anything under the tree for me for Christmas -- except maybe those boots!