Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A Few Good Men.

In the wake of tragedy, you are keenly aware of what you've lost.  As time distances you from the shock, the impact of the loss sinks in.  You know what you've lost, but may be pleasantly surprised by what you've gained.  I am not talking about an inheritance or the tens of pounds that now show up on my thighs thanks to grief eats. I've mentioned before how I am so thankful that many people swooped in to protect me and support me during the most difficult time of life.  I am not going to specifically call people out  because I know I will miss a few, but one of the best surprises of working towards recovery in this tragedy is the way Mike's guy friends have taken care of me. Talk about a few good men. (Well, really more than just a few, but few sounded good for the title)

It is no surprise that on April 3, 2012 the world lost one of the most amazing men the world has ever known.  People always speak highly of the dead even if it is not necessarily true, but in the case, it is entirely true. I continue to learn the many ways Mike touched lives even if just in passing. I only wish he had realized his impact on this world and made the decision to stay. But he didn't. And calling to tell his friends of his death was....I can't even describe it. Hearing/seeing grown men reduced to a puddle of tears is just so sad. I know I am not being very articulate here, but it is because I truly can't describe it. Many of them were caught by complete surprise because Mike kept his illness very close hold.  I wish this hadn't been the case because I know every single one of those guys would have been there for Mike. But that was his choice and I had to honor that for him. I unwillingly said goodbye to one amazing man whom I loved.....and gained the love and support of his friends.

One of the most helpful things in dealing with all of this is talking about it.  Talking about how I feel.  Mumbling words through tears that feel like they will never end. Yelling at the horror of it all.  Getting angry at Mike, God, the mental health system, doctors, whoever I feel like being mad at the time. All of that has happened.

Now, tell me, what guy wants to willingly listen to a woman cry and talk in circles?

{If she is your wife, OK, that would be the loving thing to do.}

These guys!!

They encourage me to talk about what happened.  They encourage me to write down my feelings and to express them.  They remind me that Mike loved me and wants me to be happy.  They send me inspirational quotes.  And cards that they -- not their wives -- wrote.  I can tell by the handwriting. HA! They have shared stories and jokes that have made me laugh until my sides split.

They have loved and supported me in the spirit of true friendship through all of this. 

And I am so thankful that I know more than just a few good men.

{Y'all know who you are. I am so proud to call you friends.}

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