The 411 with BHB

It's always fun to find new blogs!  I typically make new "friends" through link-ups.  Today, I am linking up with BHB, and sharing the 411 on me! I was supposed to have finished this on Thursday, 4/11.  I started it then, and just finished it now.  Better late than never!

THE BASICS

Who are you: Jess.  I don't have some cool blog pseudo name.  I do have a lot of nicknames, but my mom will only call me Jessica.  She doesn't like anything else.  I think she might be the only one who consistently calls me by my full first name.

Where do you blog: Shine Like Stars

How did you pick your blog’s name:  My friend, Ashley, and I purchased a brick to be placed on the walkway leading up Jill's House.  Jill's House is a ministry of McLean Bible Church in Vienna, VA that serves as a respite for children with disabilities.  They are able to come and stay overnight, be taken care of, and have a wonderful time.  The children participate in all sorts of activities and the parents greatly appreciate the fact that they can have a little break and their children are enjoying themselves away.  We decided to inscribe  Philippians 2:15, "....then you will shine among them like stars in the sky."  I thought it was perfect because I love stars, but I also hope to be a light in people's lives.  Most importantly, I hope the light of Christ radiates in my life.  As I learned all too well this year, life has many bright spots, but also can bring some deep sorrow and darkness.  Since this blog is a record of my life, I hope that regardless of how much light I see, the light of Christ shines always and I shine like a star to those around me.

                                            LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

Where did you grow up: Alexandria, Va.  Right outside of Washington, DC.  I feel really blessed to have grown up there.

Where do you live now:  In a condo in Old Town Alexandria.  I love it!

Where would you live anywhere in the world:  I love where I live now, but I could see myself moving to London for a bit.  I want to retire to NYC.  People think I am crazy for saying that, but I feel like I'd have money to spend on the things I want and I wouldn't get too old too quickly because I'd always be active.

             LET'S TALK BEAUTY: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OR SIGNATURE

Lipstick:  I only wear lip gloss or Burts Bee's chap stick.  I recently bought a chap stick in Aruba and am liking that.  My lips are always chapped.

Mascara:  My hand is not steady enough to put on mascara by myself, so I don't wear it unless someone else puts it on for me.  I wish I could, though, because I think it looks pretty and makes your eyes bright!

Perfume: Jean Paul Gaultier perfume

                                       YUMMIES: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE

Cocktail:  mai thai

Dessert:  Cupcakes (and ice cream) or ice cream cake

Pizza Topping(s):  At certain restaurants, I like only cheese.  It's too perfect to mess it up.  At the typical delivery places, I like pepperoni, green peppers and onions.

                  I ALWAYS HAVE THESE THREE THINGS IN MY REFRIGERATOR
One: Wine

Two:  Greek yogurt

Three: Frozen mixed veggies (in the freezer not the fridge)

                                    GET ARTSY: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE

Movie:  Father of the Bride (Steve Martin)

Book:  A Good and Perfect Gift by Amy Julia Becker

TV Show:  I don't really have one because I don't watch a lot of TV.  I have noticed I watch a lot of reality TV when I do watch TV.  That's most likely the reason I don't have a favorite.  I don't watch any quality TV.  Any suggestions?
     
                             KID STUFF: THREE THINGS ABOUT YOUR YOUTH

What did you want to be when you grew up?   An author and The First Lady of the United States.  I still want to be both.

Who was your favorite teacher and why?  My favorite teacher is/was one of my Leadership professors at University of Richmond, Dr.  Gill Hickman.  She was an incredible professor and role model and she taught us a lot about life.  I will never forget her advice. 

What was your worst sickness/surgery/hospital visit as a kid?   HA! Are you kidding?  I've had 17 major surgeries.  I remember one of my worst was a surgery for my lazy eye when I was 12 years old.  I threw up a lot and could not open my eyes for days.  My dad had promised that he would get me the Disney channel.  He did, but all I could do was listen to it for days because I couldn't open my eyes to see what was actually on the screen.  I was miserable.

                                  THE PRETTY THINGS -  WHAT IS YOUR:

Favorite color: It used to be purple.  At age 26, I decided it was red.  My mom and my childhood best friend say you can't change your favorite color 26 years into your life.  Whatever!

Favorite flower:  Orchids (and Delta Gamma cream roses, of course!)

Favorite artist (painter, photographer, etc.): I like to think I am pretty eclectic, but I really don't have an appreciation for art.  Art and opera.  I just can't get into those two things.  Anything else, I am game.  With that said, I don't have a favorite artist.  I admire my friends who are really creative and artistic, but as for someone well known, I can't really answer.

SHOP 'TIL YOU DROP

What’s one thing you buy the most often:  Clothes from the Blue Door Boutique.  I absolutely love that store!

Do you prefer to shop online or in-store? : Online.  I can't stand to try things on in stores and to have sales people bother me.  I am a pretty typical size and have done it enough now that I don't normally have to return things.

Imagine you open your own store - what would you sell?: Cupcakes with ice cream injected in the middle.  There is a store like this in Boston and it is my dream come true.  I need one down here in DC.

 BE A HATER: WHAT ARE THREE THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO GO AWAY:

Uno:  Terrorism

Dos:  Mental illness

Tres:  Cancer

THE FINAL THREE (X3)

I hand you a genie - what are your three wishes?

1.  To be happily married to my "teammate for life"/my (future) husband

2.  To have happy and healthy children

3.  To always have the desire, the means, and the ability to travel

List 3 things you can see out of your window right now.

1.  The bridal store that has not changed its windows in months.  Doesn't sound like a good business move to me.

2.  Tourists walking around enjoying the beautiful day.

3.  The alley that is supposedly haunted.

 WHO ARE THREE PEOPLE, LIVING OR DEAD, YOU'D INVITE TO DINNER:

Een: My Dad's father.  I never got to meet him.  He sounds fascinating and looks a lot like Martin Luther King, Jr.

Twee: Kate Middleton.  I think if we knew each other, we'd be friends. 

Drie:  RG III

A Hoppy Birthday

I wasn't too excited about celebrating my birthday this year.  I didn't have anything planned.  That's quite unusual for me because I love birthdays, but this year I just wasn't into making it anything special.  My friends and family know me much better than that and decided that despite my ho-hum attitude, I deserved something very special.  Here's how it all went down:

These ladies (my small group) always know how to make me smile and completely surprised me with the sweetest birthday card and a s'more cake.

Please excuse the mess. The cake looked bizarre zoomed in.

That's right!  It's what you think it is! One, big s'more!  We actually had s'more dip for dessert that night, so I took this baby home and ate it for breakfast the next morning.  YUM!

On my actual birthday, my parents and I went to a fancy, french restaurant called Le Ferme in Chevy Chase, MD.  We normally only go here once a year, so it was really special.

I had the dover sole, which happened to be the most expensive item on the menu. Ooops! I guess that is what "market price" means.  It was so delicious, though.

 For dessert, the waiter brought me a chocolate souffle and wished me a "hoppy birthday"!!

Even though my parents hate ice cream cake, they also surprised me with a chocolate cake with mint chocolate chip ice cream. 

Mom was funny and put trick candles on the cake.  She said after the year I've had, I'd want to have more than just one wish!  She was right.  I had a lot of fun making many wishes and questioning my lung capacity as those flames continued to reignite over and over.

My third and final celebration was with our family friends.  We just had a quiet dinner at home, but Kim was so sweet to make my favorites.  She made this ceasar salad that is just to die for.  I have never had anything like it before.

Then she also made cookies and cream pie which has now replaced the Baskin Robbins ice cream cake as my favorite.  This pie was amazing!

As for presents, my parents gave me a brand new Spyder ski jacket that I am hoping to get some good use out of this year. Kim, Roy, and Ryan gifted me with two beautiful Lenox crystal votive candle holders as a symbol of bright, new beginnings.

Thank goodness my friends and family didn't listen to my bah humbug birthday mumblings. They all did what they could to make it very special.  A hoppy birthday, indeed.  Thirty-one has started off oh so fun!

I Have A Dream

My dad tells fascinating stories about growing up as a black man in the South during the peak of segregation.  He has story after story of being discriminated against, being relegated to the "colored" water fountain, outhouse bathroom, or dark, back door entrance to the movie theater.  His father, my grandfather who I never had the opportunity to meet, owned a construction business in North Carolina.  My grandmother and grandfather were both college educated.  My dad is college educated and his nine brothers and sisters are as well.  Even with these privileges, my dad actively experienced segregation.

He recalls listening to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr's "I Have a Dream" speech on the Mall so many years ago.  Inauguration Day is a day to set aside political bias, to celebrate democracy and freedom in America.  It is a day to be proud to be an American.  We don't have royalty in this country, but the pomp and circumstance that exists in the ceremonial transition or reinstatement of power is something to be cherished, something to be reflected upon.  While President Obama does not necessarily refer to himself as the "first African-American/Black President" as most of us who are bi-racial do not identify with one race over the other, I did find it fitting that his inauguration took place on the federal holiday that celebrates a man who worked so hard to break down the racial boundaries and to allow all of those who have a dream to fulfill it.  I can't help but think that Dr. King was smiling down from heaven as he watched the events that unfolded in my hometown. I can't help but think that Dr. King was proud knowing his efforts were surely not in vain.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream, but have I ever shared my dream with you?  Since I have been a little girl I have dreamed of being the First Lady of the United States.  My former boss always gets upset with me when I say this because she feels that I have the capability to be President.  I don't dispute that I could hold the highest office in the nation, but I don't want to.  I would much rather be First Lady.

 If I ever do claim this title, I'm certain I'd be compared to Michelle Obama.  That's OK with me.  As President Obama said at the Commander in Chief Ball, "Some may dispute the quality of the President, but nobody disputes the quality of the First Lady." We share the same birthday and both have chiseled arms. I love that she is a very active First Lady (not just in the health sense of the word) and an engaging speaker.  (She spoke at my MBA graduation) I also like that she blends affordable clothing with a few couture pieces.  Unfortunately, her "affordable" threads are starting to be outside my reach.  JCrew jacks up the prices every time she makes them famous and hefty price tags are attached to those clothes these days.  Ease up JCrew and be thankful for the increased sales.  Regardless of politics, she is a strong woman and "Mom in Chief".  I wouldn't seek the comparison, but you know how the media is, it would surely be highlighted.  I'd have big shoes to fill. 

The Obamas' dreams have come true.  Dr. King's dream has come/is coming to fruition.  I, too, have a dream.  But, First Lady of the United States or not, I sure hope my husband loves me as much as President Obama appears to love his wife.  I have a dream to be someone's First (and only!) Lady.

I'll keep you posted.....

 This is the White House made out of Legos.  Dude put this together before he died.  I will keep this as a remembrance of him, my dream, and the city/hometown I love.   SHHHH don't tell my future husband about my dream to be First Lady!!  That's way too much pressure on a man!!  If it happens, awesome.  If not, life will still be pretty sweet!!

30 in 30

Thirty lessons I've learned in my first 30 years....

1. Believe.  In God.  In yourself.  In others.
2. Develop relationships with people who can give you nothing in return. You will learn a lot from them.
3. Don't live to work. Work to live.
4. You are smart and well educated. Use your brain. Education opens doors.
5. Don't waste opportunities because you're afraid of where they might take you.
6. You can never love a person too much as long as they love you back.
7. There will be people you love or want to be friends with who don't feel the same way for whatever reason.  There is a reason even if you don't know what it is.  Focus your energy on people who care.
8. Never give up. Ever.
9. There will be hard and dark times in your life. The sorrow makes the joy that much sweeter.
10. A drunk girl is not classy.
11. Diamonds can be worn anytime, anywhere - even in the gym.
12. Say no to drugs - illegal, always; prescription unless absolutely necessary.
13. Coffee is gross but is sometimes your best friend.
14. You should probably try to quit drinking Diet Coke.
15. Be kind and slow to anger.  Everyone has something that could bring them to their knees at anytime.
16. Dogs enrich your life in so many ways.
17. Patience may not be your strength but don't use that as an excuse. Be patient with those around you and those you love.
18. Using your credit card for everything allows you to take awesome trips! Rack up those miles!
19. God does answer prayers just not always in the way you expect or want.
20. It is never okay to show your butt crack in public. Ever.
21. Sing, smile, laugh and pray in all circumstances.
22. Always be there for your friends and family even if it seems exhausting and impossible. It will be worth it in the end.
23. Remember the sacrifices your parents have made for you. Be grateful.
24. Do something that scares you. It will either be a growth experience or a good story.
25. Effective communication is one of the most important skills you can learn.
26. Travel. The world does not revolve around you.
27. Just because you don't want to be a stay at home mom doesn't mean you will be a bad mom.  Your kids can learn a lot from watching you develop your career as long as you don't put the career in front of your family.
28. Sports make your life a lot of fun!  Being a Redskins fan is a lesson in loyalty.
29. Your health is critically important. Go to the doctor and the dentist, even though you hate the dentist. Work out, too!
30. Eat cake for breakfast on your birthday. It's just fun!

Thoughts about my upcoming birthday

The truth is I haven’t given it any thought.  Typically, starting January 1, I start proclaiming with great excitement that my birthday is coming up soon.  At least one month before that, I begin putting a plan together for a celebration, numerous celebrations.  Not this year.  I forgot my birthday is  fast approaching until after wishing someone else happy birthday, they replied , “Happy early birthday to you, too!” “Oh yeah, my birthday is coming up, isn’t it? I totally forgot about that!”  I think I forgot on purpose.  I don’t want to remember that I am approaching another year in my life without what I would consider God’s greatest gifts.

When I was younger I used to tell people that I would be married by age 25 and I’d certainly have kids by age 30.  I think I started telling people this when I was six years old.  The proclamation came at such an early age because I experienced my first wedding at age six and I was a junior bridesmaid.  Over the last 25 years, I have been to countless other weddings and my first one is still in  the running for the best one I’ve ever attended!  I wanted the love and the wedding that they had and I told everyone I was going to have exactly that just like they did, at age 25.   When 25 passed, I bumped the age up five years to 30.  That seemed realistic.  After all, my friends were achieving that “goal” so why couldn’t I? The year I turned 30 is now dubbed the worst year of my life.  Most people talk about spending the rest of their life with their best friend.  Well...... In my case, he’s dead.  He died the year I turned 30.  The year I was certain I would achieve that “goal”.

Now, I am about to turn 31.  Still no husband.  No prospects.  No kids.  Not even a dog. (And, no, I can’t just go get a dog. I need help taking care of a dog)  Sure, I’ve been blessed.  I have an amazing condo and am very successful.  I’m not ashamed to admit that.  My success and singleness have afforded me opportunities to travel and to chase after dreams that I might have otherwise had to give up.  But, the thing is I would be willing to give them up.  I would give anything to be a wife and a mother.  Heck, if I had to wait longer for the kids and it was just me, Hubs and the dog that would be such a blessing.  But, no, I guess it is not my turn yet.

I try my best to support my friends in all of their celebrations. Sometimes I go a little overboard for them because I know that as they celebrate their engagements, weddings, and new babies, this is such a special time in their lives and I want to do my part to make it so.  Showers, baby and bridal, are never easy for me.  I feel like I am sitting there staring at the person repeatedly unwrap reminders of things I don’t have.  Facebook makes it hard, too, with photos of happiness strewn all over the page.  One glaring reminder after another of things I want so badly yet don’t have.  Reminders that I feel left out.  I feel selfish even writing this because I am truly happy for my friends.  I would never express my sadness during their big moments because it is not about me.  These are times in their lives that deserve to be shouted from the rooftops and celebrated to the max.  And, I don’t blame them for doing just that.  I absolutely wouldn't miss their celebrations!


But, I want my own celebration, too.  I want to find my teammate, my champion and raise a family with him.

This is a new year and I can’t just sit here and whine about feeling left out.  I have to do something about it.  One friend said to me, “If I had as much money as you do, I’d sign up for every dating site possible.”  I tried not to get too offended.  Just because I can, doesn’t mean I want to.  I have spent hours in years past pouring through online dating profiles and reaching out, only to be rejected.  I once worked with a dating coach who was excited about three prospects for me.  The excitement was fleeting because she found out they were unwilling to date to someone with a disability.  There went that.  Do you know how happy I would be if I didn’t have to spend hours on the computer during the day, then hours on the computer at night just trying to find a date?  Do you know how blessed I would feel if I was introduced to my husband the traditional way?  I know my struggles are not unique, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t valid.

 I have much to look forward to in 2013.  A couple new babies, a wedding in London, and some trips with friends are already on the books.  But, I’d really like a reason to celebrate something more than my birthday.  Next birthday, I’d like to be able to say I am well on my way to having one of God greatest gifts, my husband.  I guess I’ll have to wait and see what God has in store. In the meantime, I should probably do a little something to celebrate thirty-one (oh.my.goodness.).  Maybe I'll just have a cupcake, a glass of wine, and call it a day.  A birthday.

100 Things About Me

Many bloggers in the blog world have made a list of 100 things about themselves in honor of their 100th post. At first, I was against it because I thought it was a bit self indulgent. Then again, a blog can be self indulgent, so I threw that notion out the window and decided to take it as a challenge to come up with 100 things about myself. I tried to make it into a little story about my life. So, here they are....

1.    I was born 3.5 months early
2.    I weighed only 2lbs
3.    I am an only child
4.    I would have preferred to have my birthday in April instead of January
5.    My parents weren’t prepared for my arrival – at all. Nothing was ready.
6.    I like to keep people on their toes ;-)
7.    I wasn’t named for a few days  because I had little chance of survival
8.    My parents named me after the news anchor/tv show character they were watching after my birth (Jessica Savage, a newscaster, and “Blair” from “The Facts of Life”)
9.    I had a stroke about 6 weeks after I was born.
10.    That’s why I have Cerebral Palsy
11.    I was baptized in my parent’s house.
12.    They were married there, too.
13.    I was born with hair ALL over my body (gross!) It was so much that my mom screamed “Oh my God! I gave birth to a monkey!"….true story. Thanks mom.
14.    Then lost it all and didn’t get any hair on my head until I was 2 years old! Lots of pink bows and dresses on this little baby!
15.    That might be when my obsession with dresses began.
16.    I hardly ever wear pants
17.    I have to dress up if I really want to focus
18.    I think some of it has to do with my private school upbringing. We had a dress code.
19.    I love pedicures, but hate when people touch my feet.
20.    I have a sunglass fetish, but really just wear the same pair all of the time.
21.    My biggest pet peeve is when people put things other than cups in cup holders
22.    Or they smack their food
23.    I am not at all patient with myself
24.    My life revolves around faith,
25.    Family,
26.    Friends,
27.    Football
28.    I was baptized Episcopalian
29.    Confirmed Methodist
30.    Attended a Presbyterian church in college
31.    Went to a non-denominational church after college
32.    Now Dad and I go to a Baptist church
33.    God is God. It’s the relationship that’s important not the denomination!
34.    I suffer through being a Redskins fan
35.    It’s a lesson in loyalty. I am very loyal.
36.    I also love college basketball
37.    And tennis
38.    I like to go to baseball games, but am not likely to sit down and watch a game on tv – except the Nationals vs the Cardinals in the Championship Series this year --- hate the Cards
39.    I can take or leave hockey. Just call me if there is a fight!
40.    I managed volleyball, basketball and lacrosse in high school.
41.    University of Richmond was truly the perfect school for me. GO SPIDERS!
42.    I feel closest to God at the beach
43.    My favorite food is mashed potatoes
44.    Or ice cream
45.    Or anything Italian
46.    Or Mexican
47.    Or snow cones at SnoBeach in Austin, TX
48.    Or Sarris chocolate covered pretzels
49.    I have a ginormous sweet tooth, but like vegetables a lot, too.
50.    I have tasted cupcakes in 4 different countries/3 continents
51.    I took piano for 8 years when I was a little girl. I was actually pretty good, but hated it.
52.    I always wanted to play the clarinet instead.
53.    I took tap dance lessons
54.    I had a solo in the middle of the mall
55.    I took gymnastics, too
56.    And horseback riding
57.     Singing is probably my favorite thing to do
58.    I was co-lead angel in the church Christmas pageant far too many times
59.    I would rather listen to music than watch tv
60.    Country music is my favorite
61.    I don’t have a favorite musical artist.
62.    Rap, hip-hop and heavy metal will never be on my Ipod.
63.    I could not live if I wasn’t able to travel.
64.    There are  over 100 places I want to visit
65.    Italy is my favorite place I have traveled thus far
66.    Riding an elephant in Thailand was one of the coolest experiences of my life
67.    A hot air balloon ride was a close second
68.    Eating fried insects was gross
69.    Skydiving would be such a thrill
70.    Rice cake and peanut butter is a favorite snack
71.    Chips and salsa, too
72.    And SkinnyCow ice cream sandwiches
73.    Camping is not for me, but a bonfire with s’mores and storytelling….oh yes!
74.    Anything with water is right up my alley
75.    Sailing
76.    Jet-skiing
77.    Swimming
78.    Not scuba diving, though. I am afraid I won’t come up from down there
79.    I am a morning person
80.    I usually am ready to go to bed or asleep by 10pm
81.    I can’t stay up late even if I am having a good time – my body just shuts down
82.    I have had 17 surgeries
83.    1 on my spine
84.    2 for my ears
85.    3 for my eyes
86.    4 times my ankles have been cut off on purpose and then put back on
87.    The rest of the surgeries have been for other orthopedic improvements
88.    I wouldn’t be where I am today without my surgeries
89.    I hope I don’t have to have anymore, but you never know.
90.    I have had surgery in California, Minnesota, DC and Virginia
91.    I consider myself a moderate when it comes to politics, but most people would say I lean slightly to the right.
92.    I am looking forward to starting a foundation.
93.    Summer is my favorite season.
94.    I can’t stand to wear shorts.
95.    I am undecided as to whether purple or red is my favorite color.
96.    Cottage cheese is absolutely disgusting!
97.    I would love to find my “champion” and be married with a family someday.
98.    I always get nervous about things, but
99.    I know God has a plan
100. And it is good.

And just one more because it’s cool!

101.    My dad flew on Air Force One.