Ever since the news of my impending surgery, my life has felt like an earthquake! I had big plans for the fall and they are "all shook up!" Trying to juggle moving into my condo (then moving out 13 days later), repairing the damage in my condo, working "two" jobs, dating, and having pain in my ankle that restricts my driving seems unbearable at times. Couple this with not being able to weight bear for 6-8 weeks after my triple joint fusion and I feel completely out of control! The ground as I thought I knew it has been shaken. The plans I had made are now on hold - or will not be executed as I had imagined.
Fast forward two weeks later.....
Yesterday, around 11:30am, I bounced outside to escape my cubicle and the air conditioning to enjoy lunch. It was beautiful outside. Clear, blue skies, 85 degrees, a light wind -- I reluctantly returned to my cube after thirty minutes, longing to stay outside.
About 2:00pm, the floor beneath my desk started to rumble. At first, I thought there was some sort of construction going on. Then a bigger rumble came, the entire building started shaking and the power went out. The building was pitch black! My colleagues and I were stunned and silenced by what had just occurred. Our first thought was that we were experiencing a terrorist attack. Being in DC and given that we are so close to the 10th anniversary of September 11, sadly, that seemed realistic.
Then the lights came back on. Our phones were ringing off the hook and we all realized what we had just experienced was an earthquake. While it was scary because I had never been in an earthquake of that magnitude before, I was relieved. It wasn't a terrorist attack. Nobody was hurt. I had survived. I was alive. It wasn't as big of a deal as it had seemed while it was occurring.
My hope is that "the earthquake that is my surgery" will be the same way. Right now, it seems daunting because I have not had a major procedure in seven years. My life is much more complicated than it was when I was growing up and having these surgeries. Without a doubt, this is a *whopper* of a medical procedure! But, I will recover, and I will be better for it in the end.
Right now, the unknowns and uncertainty feel unbearable and suffocating at times. In the end, it will feel like this:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" -Jeremiah 29:11