A Lesson from a Two Year Old

I just spent five days with the Fentons.  I love the Fentons.  Carmen and I became fast friends when we were in Bible study together.  We were randomly selected as prayer partners.  That meant we had to meet outside of our weekly meeting to pray together.  We did that, but always found ourselves spending extra time doing things we enjoyed. We just hit it off!  Four years ago, she and her husband, Jason, moved back to the homeland aka Texas.  While I was sad to see them go, the distance hasn't weakened our friendship.  In fact, it may have strengthened it.  I look forward to my yearly visit to see them.  It is so fun, so easy, full of laughter, sometimes a few tears, and lots of Mexican food! This year, Ella, their daughter, was old enough to hang out and get in on the fun.  I'll do another post on the specifics of my visit and the rodeo, but I wanted to pause and write about a lesson I learned from Ella, age 2.

Ella spends her days at a Christian preschool. At school, right before eating, she repeats this prayer. The prayer goes like this:

"Thank you, thank you God, for our family, friends and food." 

Each time we would eat "Thank you God" needed to be said.  If we picked up our forks without singing the prayer, Ella would remind us that we forgot something.  "Thank you God!  Thank you God!", she insisted.  Oh right, "Thank you God". We dropped our forks, bowed our heads and folded our hands in prayer.  One time, I even caught a glimpse of her singing "Thank you God, hands folded and all, in her car seat.

Ella's insistence on thanking God was a stark reminder to me.  Praying is something I like to do. I love to talk and praying is a form of talking to God.  However, lately my prayers have been: "God fix this." God take this pain away".  "God help".  Rarely do my prayers revolve around thanking God for things He has given me and the blessings I've received even in the darkest time of my life.  I am in the most difficult time of my life thus far, but I still have much to be thankful for.

I am thankful that God is my ever present help in times of trouble.  I am thankful that He provides peace beyond my own understanding.  I am thankful for my family and friends.  And chocolate.  And friends who surprise me with chocolate.  I am thankful for love even though I lost it. I am thankful that I am never truly alone. And I am thankful for all of the Fentons, particularly to Ella for teaching me/reminding me of something so important.

I love this sweet little lady.

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful

Colossians 4:2

When all else falls, love still remains

It’s been a tough year.  Life has been hard on many fronts.  I cannot wait to see 2012 go, hoping that 2013 has some blessing in store.  There’s been sorrow and darkness and my world as I knew it for nearly half my life fell apart.   For many months, I walked around in my hometown and everything seemed unrecognizable, unfamiliar, meaningless.  However, even in the midst of such despair, I always knew there was a reason to go on. It is said that in the midst of tragedy people come together.  We saw it with September 11th, Hurricane Sandy, the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre, and I have witnessed it first hand in my own life this year.  My world crumbled, but amidst the rubble has been a fortress of love.

I sat down to write my New Years Christmas cards and realized there were so many people I wanted to thank for the love and support they have given me throughout the most difficult year of my life.  The road is long, but so many have helped me to move forward and have stood beside, in front of, or behind me as I’ve tried to navigate this journey I never wanted to be on.  If you know me well, you know how much I am against using technology for personal thank yous (and big events - no evites). But, I only have 27 cards and there are so many more people who have supported me, I have to resort to this. So, in no particular order, here is my measly attempt to thank all of you for your love and support.

God: (Ok, maybe there is a little order) "You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning. You turn my darkness into light" - Psalm 18:28.  Take care of Dude up there and give him big hugs, kisses and high fives!  I miss him so much.

My family: It hasn’t been an easy road as my parents are grieving the loss, too. They also have no idea what to do sometimes because it is frustrating to not be able to take away my pain. No doubt, they try their best to make sure I have enough space to grieve and encourage me to move forward, too. Thank you for making it possible for me to be in Aruba over the anniversary of Dude's death.  Zoe and Phoebe, our dogs, have been the biggest comfort with a never-ending supply of hugs, kisses, tail wags, and snuggles. Those two always know how to make me smile.

Dude’s family: Thank you for all of your love (and Scramble games) during your time of deep grief. You have adopted me into the family and have been an incredible support.  It has been a huge help for me to talk to you.  Know that Dude will always remain someone so special to me and there will always be a hole in my heart now that he is gone.

My favorite Spiders, you know who you are: You swooped right in and have surrounded me even though many of us are geographically distant.  We’ve bonded through laughter and tears, photos and sweet memories. Thanks for taking care of me. Y’all are as loyal as the day is long.  I hate that we have to go through this, but I am glad we are together.

Mary: You are an angel on this earth that God sent to help me.

Spiders: Although it’s been under horrific circumstances, I’ve really appreciated all of the notes and messages and memories you’ve shared.  I have kept every one and have shared them with Mike’s family.  We are blown away by the impact that he had on so many people and are comforted by all the stories. One Spider and I were talking right after he died and I mentioned to her how much I enjoyed hearing stories of people’s interactions with Mike. Her response was “Well, I suspect you’l l be hearing those for many years to come.” I sure do hope so.  Mike and I used to always joke that between the two of us, we knew the entire school.  I’ve enjoyed getting to meet and befriend many of you I didn’t know before this. Thanks for reaching out.

My small group: I’d never be able to do what I did that night without your help. Thanks for all you have done for me whether it be sitting next to me when I can’t come up with any words, praying for me, bringing me things to make me smile, or driving a long way just for a hug.  I am so blessed to have you ladies in my life.

My friends: It’s not necessary to know the right words or to say anything at all.  Any little thing has made a difference.  I know I haven’t been the most fun, but I hope you understand and know that I appreciate all of your support.  For those of you that never got to meet Dude, when we all get to heaven someday I’ll introduce you.  Until then, I hope you'll get a glimpse of him through me.

Colleagues: You have been patient and do all that you can to make me smile throughout the day. Work isn’t the best place to be, but boy do I have some caring colleagues!!

Bloggers I’ve never met: The fun thing about blogging is that you get a glimpse into people’s lives that you have never met and may never meet. I’ve received notes of support and prayers from many of you. How cool that we can be a community even when we are so far apart and only know each other through our little space on the web?!

Dude:  Even though I have a tendency to get so mad at you for what you did, I am so thankful for the time that we got to spend together.  Thank you for finding ways to take care of me despite your own pain. I will love you and miss you forever.  Stay close.

I’ve learned that this will be a lifelong healing process, but things will get better.  They have gotten better.  I am so blessed to have so much love and support. Thank you for everything and please stay close.

With a grateful heart, I wish each and every one of you a happy new year.  

Thankful Thursday: Election Edition

I grew up in a politically divided household. One parent tends to side with the Republicans while the other most closely identifies with the Democrats. My parents are opposite in every way. Dad is black; Mom is white. Dad is tall; Mom is short. Dad is from the South; Mom is from the North. Dad is the third of ten children; Mom is an only child. Dad grew up in a family who owned their own construction business; Mom grew up with a mother who worked in a factory. Both are college educated. Both are hard workers and respect each other's differences. These very differences (besides the height -- although, I am the shortest of the cousins on my dad's side -- thanks Mom) have all contributed to the person I have grown up to be. I have always felt like I cannot exclusively identify with one group because I would be denying "half" of myself. My parents' differences have enriched my life and have also affected the way I approach politics. They have always taught me to consider both sides and to vote for the person I feel would do the best job. Even though they identify with opposite parties, they tell me that they evaluate their vote in the same way. I can't say "I grew up in a Republican/Democratic household and have learned to put the most stock in those beliefs." People can say how they grew up does not affect how they vote today, but I don't believe that. I think we are all able to make our own choices, but are most inclined to make the choice that follows the values we inherited.
Since I've been incredibly reflective lately, I decided to take stock of my experiences and my friends prior to this election. I learned that my closest friends from childhood and high school (with the exception of one) are devout Republicans. I considered the fact that my closest friends from college are jumping for joy right now because Obama was just elected to a second term. And, I realized my closest friends from life after college are die hard Republicans and are sad but respectful today. So, what does that say about me?
I have had the privilege of voting in four elections so far. I can tell you that there is yet to be a time where I have voted exclusively for one party. I am talking President, Senate and City Council and School Board elections, included. I split tickets all the time! I truly vote for the person I think is best at the time. Not just the party. In the four elections, I have voted for an equal amount of Democrats and Republicans to hold the highest office in the nation. Some people are probably disgusted by this fact, thinking that I should have more solid beliefs and know where I stand. The fact is I do know where I stand. I am conservative on some issues and liberal enough to be content with the Democratic perspective on others. This election was extremely important so I made sure to do my research and also consulted friends from both sides to get their point of views as well. Then I made what I felt to be an informed decision. I am not going to reveal who I voted for because I know it is not advisable to discuss politics in public (even though I live in the DC area and it is many people's favorite topic) and I just prefer to keep that to myself.

Now, to "Thankful Thursday":

I am thankful (for):

- the diverse perspectives of my parents that have enriched my life and helped me to grow into my own person

- being able to vote freely

- such good friends that our political affiliation does not divide us

- the patriotic feeling that exists in this country. I teared up at both Romney and Obama's speeches on Election Night. Both men truly want to do what they feel is best for America. Aside from Election Night, people have been coming together to help the victims of Superstorm Sandy and to me, that is just as patriotic as supporting your candidate of choice

- John T. Chapman: John had a very modest beginning and was just elected to Alexandria City Council. John and I went to school together and I know he is a man of great character with a deep commitment to his hometown. So happy for him! Winner, winner,  chicken dinner!!

- a fight not breaking out in the voting line between me and my tenant. We did not get along after he destroyed my condo. It so happens that I was directly behind him in the voting line. He looked at me.  I looked at him. Neither one of us said a word. That was a blessing.

- "the election is behind us, the Great Commission is before us, the Holy Spirit is still in us and Jesus is coming for us. That's hope." -Ken Whitten

- Romans 13:1 (NIV) "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." 

Those who disagree with the election results should remember that God has a plan and He will continue to bless America.  Those who are excited about the next four years, don't gloat! It's really tacky. I earnestly believe both candidates want to work in the interest of America (even though, their ideas are in opposition to one another) You also won't catch me launching personal attacks on the President or any candidates. My philosophy is unless I feel that I can do a better job in his position, I will refrain from that behavior. And, quite frankly, I think respect speaks the loudest and is the best response in all situations.

  GOD BLESS AMERICA