Thursday, September 19, 2013

A Prayer for Relief

I've been rather absent from my blog for the last couple months.  That's mostly because I have been trying to stay away from the computer and enjoy the sunshine, time with family and friends, the pool, everything summer has to offer.  I've been trying to look at the lighter side of life even though I feel like life is heavy.

If you didn't know, I am currently in a law suit with LSAC.  That's all I'll say about that because my attorney would probably scold me for discussing the details.  I received the formal complaint that was filed in court the other day and began to read through it.  I got to one point and burst out laughing.  The section where my specific requests are listed is called "Prayer for Relief".

Prayer for Relief, I thought.  Yeah, that sounds about right.  I am in need of a prayer for relief.  

I don't like to whine, but I've had a heavy load lately  Just when I think I'm ahead, I get knocked back a little bit.  I'm not sure why I've had to experience any of the pain of the last year and a half.  Maybe one day I will know.  I might never know.  I have to be OK with it either way.  And, I am thankful for the little ways God shows me that despite all of this, He is still there...

I'm burning the candle at both ends these days.  Dealing with LSAC is a struggle, but if a blind student didn't get accommodations for the LSAT, why should I?!?!?!  Fundraising for Mike's scholarship is hard work.  It's rewarding and he deserves it.  But, it's hard work -- and at times, it just knocks me for a loop.  I can't believe I have a reason to actually do this.  But he deserves it, so I press on.  The weight of grief is not as heavy as it used to be, but it's there.  Moving forward from such a tragedy takes work, too.

God and I need to talk. Two things Dude's family and I have said even since his death are:  God is good - all.the.time & happiness is just around the corner.  I see glimpses, but.... 

 I need a prayer for relief in more than just the legal sense.
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